Day 7

Friday.

So I'm through week 1 of this adventure. I have a friend at work *Gordie who is trying his own online dating world with okcupid and has been on it a bit longer than I've been trying eharmony. I have to say it appears I've made the right choice. *Gordie has so far had two lesbians separately, yet on the same day, proposition him to try men one more time, and a creepy looking goth girl with a boyfriend contact him, and not much else worth mentioning. Granted, I'm 8 years older so may have more serious suitors, but still... *Gordie's experience is exactly why I've avoided online dating thus far. But eharmony so far has been kind of awesome. There are 3 guys I'm quite interested in and am excited about talking with and a 4th that I'm not sure about, but am taking the steps to see where it leads. In a week. That's about as many guys as I would have listed as of interest to me in all of the last year. And as long as they are being truthful, I know more about them than the ones I met and dated in real life. Interesting...

So no word from *Boston. It appears he hasn't looked at my profile since I sent my answers late on Wednesday night. There's a "Who's Viewed Me" tab that shows who has looked at your profile in the past 2 weeks by each day. And I've been avoiding looking at his profile so he couldn't see that I was basically waiting to hear from him. I wasn't entirely sure it was accurate to go by that tab but it seems to be right, it reflects people I've heard from AND he appears to have looked tonight!!

So I'm fairly certain now he's read my answers. It is Valentine's Day weekend so I don't romanticize hearing from him this weekend. Although if I did hear from him by him "opening communication" with me, I'd certainly accept! That would mean we can then communicate by email as long as like on their site or exchange other ways to speak. But I guess he's thinking about it...I have to remember that he could be speaking to lots of women and this next stage is pretty much the step where you decide to speak and meet. If he's as great as he seems, there are probably lots of women he's talking to and getting responses from. But, he did initiate with me and reciprocated each step quickly so I'm still hoping he'll open the communication...soon?!?!! Yes, I am impatient! It just speaks to the fact that I do like him...

I sent *Arizona my "MH/CS" and he replied with a "Fast Track" request!!! This means he wants to skip the rest of the guided communication, he didn't send me his "MH/CS", he just wants to talk. Part of me likes the steps in "guided communication" but I'm flattered he wants to meet me. I think I'll let this wait until tomorrow.

It is weird for me to think about seeing *Arizona and wanting to see *Boston and wanting to hear from *Chicago all at the same time. It's very opposite to my nature to juggle men and in real life I might wait to see if I hear from *Boston again before moving forward with *Arizona but I guess this is all part of the online process and I don't want to miss opportunities and if *Arizona had come first or there was no *Boston or *Chicago then how would I feel? It's really hard to know.

Speaking of *Chicago, I moved forward by sending him my 3 short answer questions. I'm really looking forward to getting his answers to learn more about him. I was so impressed with his "MH/CS" that he seems very different than my first impression - different in great ways. Again I don't anticipate hearing from him on Valentine's Day and it's also a long weekend so I'm not sure there will be any update on him for a while. But he could prove me wrong again!

The 4th guy I've been mentioning, that I'm not sure about but exchanged first questions with yesterday - *Seattle - I chose not to communicate with today. I am not sure if I want to go down this road with him but need to keep my mind open. He seems fun and funny, he could be a great guy. I don't have a huge physical attraction to him but there is something about him that I find endearing. My friend *Courtney thinks he looks great so maybe I'll send him my "MH/CS", I'm going to wait on that until tomorrow too.

I received 9 new matches today and none worth mentioning. Not that I feel like there isn't enough on the go right now! But I have to keep myself open...the right guy for me might be in my inbox at any point (if he isn't already) and a crush on a guy (or 3) on a screen isn't realistic enough for me yet, so the adventure continues...

Tally for Day 7:

New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0
Must Haves/Can't Stands Sent by me: 1
Fast Track Requested by him: 1 !!
Short Answer Questions Sent by me: 1

To E (harmony) Or Not To E (harmony)?

I'm a 32 year old single woman living in the fabulous Metropolitan city of Toronto. I have a great career in television, an amazing group of friends and a very active social life. I play sports, run a book club, take guitar lessons, see bands, movies, go to the theatre, museums, symphony, everything this great city has to offer. So where are the men in this city that I'm doing it all alone?

Working in tv, I am surrounded by some of my good friends and a diverse group of young people with whom to share all of life's experiences. It's winter in Toronto and this leaves us all inside more often having more and more water cooler-type conversations. Inevitably, our dating sagas and duds are a frequent topic...

There seems to be a consensus among my friends (male & female, single and coupled) that the pool of great single men is lacking here. No offense guys, just speaking of a survey of experiences and looking around at the big group of amazing, hot, single women I have the pleasure of knowing. This is not in any way meant to be one of those man-bashing blogs, au contraire! I am hoping this blogs ends with some sort of happily ever after!

I've never online dated. I've always been fairly anti-online dating, saying it's not for me, I don't trust it or myself. I like that chemistry of meeting someone and the process of flirting in person. I know there are success stories out there but I personally don't have people in my immediate circle that have had anything other than a smattering of dates and hours of fun checking out, flirting with and talking to other single people. But no relationships. I also love my life and thinks it's very full as is and going on a number of bad dates on my fairly limited free time just doesn't sound like it's for me.

So where does eharmony come in? We got to talking in the office last week. A particularly frigid and depressing week - I love Toronto but there are days in January and February that can be nothing short of oppressive and we all feel it. I was feeling it. My friend, let's call her *Stevie, and I had just both had mediocre Friday night dates - hers a new guy and mine just someone to pass the time with a few times a year (don't worry, it's very mutual). A guy friend in the office talked about his new foray into the online dating world of okcupid and a familiar conversation about online options ensued: plentyoffish, lavalife, etc, etc... eharmony. Wait, what's eharmony? Isn't that the service with those adorable couple commercials? Stevie says she filled out a profile a year ago but has not paid for it, the profile was really long and kind of fun, I should just do it for the fun of it. They send you matches but you can't see them until you pay, no harm, no commitment, just fill out the profile? Sure, why not?

There's something about eharmony that's very intriguing in ways other online sites aren't. They claim to actually match you to other people based on a number (29 dimensions for anyone interested) of factors based on your initial questionnaire. It is long and kind of fun to fill out. I love surveys though so that was an easy sell on me! And they'll send you matches right away to see if you think it's worth paying the money.

So I filled it out. The next day I had a flood of emails from eharmony saying I had new matches. I read all of their profiles and was impressed with the ways they seemed fairly compatible with me. Lawyers, a guy in film, a teacher, some consultants, sales reps, some IT people, graphic artists, a wide array of men and all local! You can choose your geographic preferences but it was still good to know there are a number of guys in Toronto on here to possibly meet.

I was interested. It isn't like other sites where you randomly search for people with no direction other than hopefully hotness. They send them to you and if you want to see their pictures you have to pay. That's fair I think. There's a certain level of commitment to meeting someone real - at least in my head and that's what we're here to find out! - when you've paid for a service. How much? $250 CDN for a full year - yikes. That's a lot of money - sort of, it's about $20/mth. Or, $3 months for I think $120 - would have to check my facts there so it's about $40/mth that way. Or...$60 one time fee for one month. $60? Sounds like a deal if it means I meet someone great - it's even a bit of a deal to go on a few possible dates. And not that much to lose if nothing comes of it. I was interested.

I read everything on the site, I read the creator's story, I read the "science" behind the matching, I read the real couple success stories, I read the fine print on what they would do with my credit card info if I only picked the one month (they charge you automatically for $50 for another month). I read the blog where some people complained it didn't work for them and down to the answers that said it does seem to work best for 30-somethings in densely populated areas...And they continued to send me matches of totally good sounding guys. And guys requesting communication with me...

So I start to survey my friends what they think: To E (harmony Or Not To E (harmony). Guys, girls, single, coupled, friends, co-workers - all a resounding YES, DO IT! I also threw the idea out there that I'd create this blog to go along with it so they could all follow along - I'm sure that had a bit to do with the fervor behind the YESSES! but taking that into account they all still said yes. Stevie wants to do it too but wavers, I was still not sure.

Cut to: It's Friday night. And payday. I have a clear credit card and a world full of curiosity about these guys that are supposedly matched for me. One of my best friends, *Natalie, happens to be in town that night and drops by for some glasses, er, um, bottles of wine and I tell her what I'm thinking about. This is a friend who's advice and opinion I take very seriously. She's seen me at my best and worst in the past several years and vice versa. She is so excited by the sound of eharmony and me doing it that she gets up goes to her wallet and hands me $60. Not taking no for an answer, "call it a late Christmas, early birthday, for the wine we've just had whatever present!" I guess I'm signing up. But it's 4am so I think I'll wait for tomorrow!