Day 5

Wednesday

What started as a fairly uneventful eharmony day, there was a very exciting ending!!

I received 11 new matches in the morning and apparently I was wrong, there are a lot more guys out there to match me with, that aren't all duds. Perhaps they don't want to inundate me with them all at once so they space them out - I do receive about 10-12 a day on average. There was one guy in there I thought sounded interesting but I don't intend to initiate with him, if he's interested he can contact me.

I received answers to my questions from *Chicago - they were good answers. Next step, I have to send my "must haves/can't stands" which from here on I'm going to shorten to "MH/CS", I'm long winded enough, I could use a short form or two! I would have sent them right away but he has taken a day or two to respond to each step so far, so I'll do the same. But I will send them. I'm curious if he'll close the match based on them. Not sure why my gut says we're not that compatible, but I'm keeping my mind open, I've been wrong about a lot of guys in my life!

The most exciting news of yesterday is that *Boston answered my 3 short answer questions!!! I can't tell you how excited I was when I got that notification - but I didn't read them right away. I was cooking dinner for a good friend, *Tracy - who made an excellent point about eharmony that I hadn't thought of...she's in marketing and so thinks about these kind of things - she said that the thing that makes eharmony stand out over the other sites like lavalife is their advertising strategy and placement. Lavalife airs commercials late at night, targeting the drunk-dialing type of single who's looking for someone to hook up with whereas eharmony advertises in the day, prime time. Gives them another notch of credibility if you ask me.

Anyway! Back to *Boston! His answers were great!! He thought about them and wrote full answers, not just a few words. It appears that we come from similar places with respect to the towns we grew up in, the reasons we're trying eharmony, and what we think of it so far.

And! Very interestingly, I posted a few more pictures of myself to my profile, definitely in part thinking it might interest *Boston. I had a few there already but they were just of me, fairly standard profile pictures and I wanted to show him a bit more about my life - and consequently anyone else I talk to as this goes on and I talk to more guys. And I know *Boston looked at them because he commented on one of them in one of his answers - kind of off hand, not related to the question he was answering!! I liked that he went out of the box to make that comment even though it's about him not being a cat person. Too bad, but I've converted others so I'm not daunted by it!

And! Probably not coincidentally, he put up a couple of new pictures!!! So we're non-verbally communicating too. Interesting. And both pictures were amazing - things he's done in his life, adventure and volunteer work too!!! Is this guy for real??? I sure hope so.

Next step - he sent me three short answer questions back. Three good questions as well, he of course sends back the one about why I joined eharmony, I expected to get that one back! They were all from the pre-selected list but they were all good. One I was totally stumped by but I managed an answer that may or may not have actually answered the question. Either way it told him something about me. I started my first answer by saying I liked his answers and that I appreciated that he seemed to have put thought into them. I also said I know that might be counter "guided communication" guidelines but that I was willing to say it anyway.

So what's next??? OPEN COMMUNICATION!! He has to iniate this step (good! I'm tired of having to take the next step! although appreciative that he's responding and reciprocating). So now it's a waiting game. I can't imagine anything I said in my answers that would make him end our communication here but then again, this is all new to me! Open communication means that eharmony will provide us with a secure email to keep talking opening. We can also request a secure phone call and talk to each other. Or forego the whole eharmony aspect and exchange real emails/numbers - but I think we're a ways from that yet. But I am really hoping I get to meet this guy at some point.

In other news, I was "nudged" today that I found a bit annoying. Apparently there's this feature that eharmony will send me an email "nudging" me from some guy who has sent me questions that I haven't answered yet. I get that some people on this site probably don't check it with the frequency I am or perhaps that it wanes over time, especially if you're getting frustrated with the results but I still don't think nudging is ever necessary. He can see that I looked at his profile - there's a "Who's Viewed Me" section that shows you by day who looked at you. So, I'm going to look again today and probably close that match.

Okay *Boston...ball is in your court...Open Communication (hopefully) here we come!

Tally for Day 5:

New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0 - but 1 I liked if he contacts me.
Short Answer Questions He Answered: 1 !!!
Short Answer Questions Asked of me: 1 !!!
Short Answer Questions I Answered: 1 !!!
First Questions Asked of Me: 4
First Questions I Answered: 1

To E (harmony) Or Not To E (harmony)?

I'm a 32 year old single woman living in the fabulous Metropolitan city of Toronto. I have a great career in television, an amazing group of friends and a very active social life. I play sports, run a book club, take guitar lessons, see bands, movies, go to the theatre, museums, symphony, everything this great city has to offer. So where are the men in this city that I'm doing it all alone?

Working in tv, I am surrounded by some of my good friends and a diverse group of young people with whom to share all of life's experiences. It's winter in Toronto and this leaves us all inside more often having more and more water cooler-type conversations. Inevitably, our dating sagas and duds are a frequent topic...

There seems to be a consensus among my friends (male & female, single and coupled) that the pool of great single men is lacking here. No offense guys, just speaking of a survey of experiences and looking around at the big group of amazing, hot, single women I have the pleasure of knowing. This is not in any way meant to be one of those man-bashing blogs, au contraire! I am hoping this blogs ends with some sort of happily ever after!

I've never online dated. I've always been fairly anti-online dating, saying it's not for me, I don't trust it or myself. I like that chemistry of meeting someone and the process of flirting in person. I know there are success stories out there but I personally don't have people in my immediate circle that have had anything other than a smattering of dates and hours of fun checking out, flirting with and talking to other single people. But no relationships. I also love my life and thinks it's very full as is and going on a number of bad dates on my fairly limited free time just doesn't sound like it's for me.

So where does eharmony come in? We got to talking in the office last week. A particularly frigid and depressing week - I love Toronto but there are days in January and February that can be nothing short of oppressive and we all feel it. I was feeling it. My friend, let's call her *Stevie, and I had just both had mediocre Friday night dates - hers a new guy and mine just someone to pass the time with a few times a year (don't worry, it's very mutual). A guy friend in the office talked about his new foray into the online dating world of okcupid and a familiar conversation about online options ensued: plentyoffish, lavalife, etc, etc... eharmony. Wait, what's eharmony? Isn't that the service with those adorable couple commercials? Stevie says she filled out a profile a year ago but has not paid for it, the profile was really long and kind of fun, I should just do it for the fun of it. They send you matches but you can't see them until you pay, no harm, no commitment, just fill out the profile? Sure, why not?

There's something about eharmony that's very intriguing in ways other online sites aren't. They claim to actually match you to other people based on a number (29 dimensions for anyone interested) of factors based on your initial questionnaire. It is long and kind of fun to fill out. I love surveys though so that was an easy sell on me! And they'll send you matches right away to see if you think it's worth paying the money.

So I filled it out. The next day I had a flood of emails from eharmony saying I had new matches. I read all of their profiles and was impressed with the ways they seemed fairly compatible with me. Lawyers, a guy in film, a teacher, some consultants, sales reps, some IT people, graphic artists, a wide array of men and all local! You can choose your geographic preferences but it was still good to know there are a number of guys in Toronto on here to possibly meet.

I was interested. It isn't like other sites where you randomly search for people with no direction other than hopefully hotness. They send them to you and if you want to see their pictures you have to pay. That's fair I think. There's a certain level of commitment to meeting someone real - at least in my head and that's what we're here to find out! - when you've paid for a service. How much? $250 CDN for a full year - yikes. That's a lot of money - sort of, it's about $20/mth. Or, $3 months for I think $120 - would have to check my facts there so it's about $40/mth that way. Or...$60 one time fee for one month. $60? Sounds like a deal if it means I meet someone great - it's even a bit of a deal to go on a few possible dates. And not that much to lose if nothing comes of it. I was interested.

I read everything on the site, I read the creator's story, I read the "science" behind the matching, I read the real couple success stories, I read the fine print on what they would do with my credit card info if I only picked the one month (they charge you automatically for $50 for another month). I read the blog where some people complained it didn't work for them and down to the answers that said it does seem to work best for 30-somethings in densely populated areas...And they continued to send me matches of totally good sounding guys. And guys requesting communication with me...

So I start to survey my friends what they think: To E (harmony Or Not To E (harmony). Guys, girls, single, coupled, friends, co-workers - all a resounding YES, DO IT! I also threw the idea out there that I'd create this blog to go along with it so they could all follow along - I'm sure that had a bit to do with the fervor behind the YESSES! but taking that into account they all still said yes. Stevie wants to do it too but wavers, I was still not sure.

Cut to: It's Friday night. And payday. I have a clear credit card and a world full of curiosity about these guys that are supposedly matched for me. One of my best friends, *Natalie, happens to be in town that night and drops by for some glasses, er, um, bottles of wine and I tell her what I'm thinking about. This is a friend who's advice and opinion I take very seriously. She's seen me at my best and worst in the past several years and vice versa. She is so excited by the sound of eharmony and me doing it that she gets up goes to her wallet and hands me $60. Not taking no for an answer, "call it a late Christmas, early birthday, for the wine we've just had whatever present!" I guess I'm signing up. But it's 4am so I think I'll wait for tomorrow!