Day 70

Sunday

So eharmony has been a little lack lustre the past month or so. None of the matches are of interest to me and I haven't responded to any requests to communicate. So today I decided to change my tactics and see what happens. That means I've initiated communication with a few guys that I was hoping would come to me first. Perhaps some people only log in if they receive requests to communicate? I still believe most guys want to chase and not be chased but then I've never been good at "supposed to" and figure it's online, nothing to lose right?

Oddly enough, 2 of the guys are from BC and I finally answered first questions from a guy in MB too so I'm not sure where, if anywhere, these conversations will lead but I'll keep you posted.

I haven't been very fair to *Detroit. He did call me for a second date and I've been putting him on hold. I'm sure it has something to do with reconnecting with my former flame *Naples. I am still wavering on calling *Detroit to apologize for my putting him off. He's gone from the site, he was only on for a one month subscription and I guess he didn't feel it was something he wanted to keep doing. I understand that! Been there! But the fact that he is gone gives me an out. It gives me almost permission to let it just fall by the wayside. I mean really, we had one drink together for an hour a month ago. I think I've just answered my own question.

*Naples. We've had a couple of dates, great dates. I love being with him, he makes me smile. I'm so glad he's back in my life. But...he isn't interested in me being his girlfriend. Has he said that? No. But I know. I think. I don't know. He participates and responds instantly to anything from me, a phone call, a text, any and all of it. But he doesn't initiate. I can pretend it's because he's wary of me from our first time around but I've made it pretty clear I like being with him and he isn't taking any steps to move us forward. But I'm not very patient as all of my best girls like to remind me! It's all good, I'm enjoying it and will just try to go with the flow instead of forcing us both to swim upstream! I'll try anyway haha.

There are other possibilities in my future. I have a date with someone I've known for a couple of years - let's call him *Kensington. He travels a lot so it may take a while to make it happen but we've been making a pretty good effort to stay connected and talk so I'm looking forward to that. He's so sweet and talented and beautiful, I am thrilled we're finally seeing what's there. Or we're going to soon anyway.

So...thankfully real life has been filling in where online life has been lacking! As I say...it's hard for the one to compete with the other but I haven't had to worry about it since online has been quiet. I'm still feeling good about my summertime romance prospects :-)

Tally for Day 70:

Eharmony Guys to Mention: 0
Real Life Prospects: 2?

Day 56

Sunday

I've been on eharmony now for a couple of months. The first time was a one month trial that was pretty exciting. It resulted in a failed relationship but was good enough to convince me to try it again. It does seem though that my experience changes the longer I spend on this site.

Perhaps its the warmer weather, my busier work schedule...or the fact that I've reconnected with an old flame (more on that later), but the online life is lacking some lustre these days. I often take days to check my new matches where I used to check almost every day. None of the matches from earlier are even worth mentioning at this point. The several I've been in "open communication" with got boring to me or I've gotten boring to them and we've stopped exchanging messages.

With the exception of *Detroit. He and I are supposed to have a second date sometime soon, he's going to call me this week. He was really sweet and I enjoyed talking to him so I'm sure we'll have a good time but I doubt there's enough chemistry to take this too much further.

*Cartagena hasn't responded to my email. It's been a few weeks so I decided to go outside my comfort zone and write him another email seeing if we should start over. That was on Friday so I'll keep you posted if I hear from him.

I also went outside my normal role and fast tracked *Memphis because his profile says that's what he prefers. No word from him either. It appears that even in the online world men prefer to do the chasing and I can come off as too aggressive. It's going to take a particular guy to keep up with me it seems and I haven't seen him on here yet!

In fairness to the site and as I mentioned earlier, I've reconnected with an ex of mine. There's just no way the online world can compete with real life chemistry. Not for me anyway. I'd probably have written a few of the eharmony guys back if it weren't for the excitement of seeing *Naples. Fireworks literally when off when we saw each other!!! It's been a couple of years since we've seen each other. He was too young then and we were at different places in our lives. He's definitely grown up some and I always did like him so who knows maybe we've reconnected because we're ready now? We've had one date since that night. A wonderful date. I don't know that there's any more future or possibility with *Naples than with any of the guys online but it's just so much more enticing to pursue someone I can see, talk to and touch. But my fear with *Naples is that the tables have turned and this time it will be me chasing him and him walking away from me. But I still think he'll be around for a bit. Wish me luck!

I also met someone this weekend that I hope to see again. *Glasgow is a friend of a friend I've never been introduced to before. Who knew? Just when you think you've exhausted all the possible friend hook ups you're happily proved wrong. There are some things that make me think this won't go anywhere - not the least of which is that I think *Glasgow might be out of my league! He's pretty spectacular. That and the fact that our mutual friend has been telling me he's in love with me for the past five years and spent most of the night with us telling *Glasgow to stay away from me. It didn't work. I hope it continues to not work but I'll have to keep you posted on that too!

Offline, online, any-kind-of-line...I feel good about my romantic prospects for the summer!

Tally for Day 56...

New matches worth mentioning: 0
Second Eharmony Dates Pending: 1
Ex-BF Dates Pending: 1!
New Guys Met Offline: 1

P.S. Check out my new column derived from this blog on http://www.shedoesthecity.com/

Day 35

Sunday

What have you missed? A coffee date with *Detroit and not much else. Thankfully it was a much more successful than with *Yarmouth. *Detroit is sweet. We only had an hour together due to previous plans and him going out of town for the next couple of weeks. I don't know what to say. He's definitely smart and a good conversationalist, interesting profession and we have some things in common. He's engaging and I can tell he's a great guy. Sparks? I don't think so but it's hard to tell in an hour. I mean it's not hard to tell at all...but would I feel differently if we'd had more time (and a couple more drinks)? I don't know. I guess we'll see. We're going to go out again when he's back in a couple of weeks. I really don't know if it can turn into something romantic but I'm willing to explore the possibility.

I've been talking to *Johannesburg off and on. We have an okay correspondence but that's kind of what it feels like - pen pals. He hasn't made any comments or suggestions about taking this offline so for now we'll just talk.

*Rochester and I email but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere either. There wasn't one question in his last email to me or really anything for me to comment on so I haven't written back. I think this one is a dead end but neither of us have closed communication so we'll see.

Ahh yes, *Sacramento. That's at an interesting point. We're in open communication and I told him about *MIA being a common friend who had the intention of setting us up a few months back. I told him to feel free to ask her about me and he said he would have but she wasn't on the last hike they had planned. Too funny. So he said he'd like to get together and see if we click in person, I think we're both intrigued as to first *MIA and then eharmony putting us in each other's paths. So we'll see.

In more exciting news...there's someone new...let's call him *Cartagena. He's a new match that as soon as he saw my profile sent me a very forward and cute "Fast Track Request". No steps at all. And he's cute from his pictures! One of the better looking guys I've seen in the last 35 days for sure. Good profile. So I accepted. He thinks we might make an awesome couple - no one has ever said that right off the bat, I like the forthrightness. I like the initiative. Very manly and confident. And we seem to have some things in common. So we're emailing. No steps at all so we're organically getting to know each other. As organic as emails on eharmony gets I suppose! I'm excited about this one. I'll keep you posted! Wish me luck.

I've done what I said I wouldn't too...I've initiated conversation with a guy named *Jersey. There's something about him I have to know more about. Inexplicable. He's answered my first questions and I've answered his. Now it's up to him to send his MH/CS if he wants to. I don't think he does but I'm hoping we get to open communication so I can figure out what it is about him I'm drawn to. I don't have hopes for this, it's more curiosity. What am I on here for if not to explore the possibilities?

There's one more guy...*Memphis who I was matched with a couple of days ago. He says he prefers Fast Track to Guided Communication and that he'd rather meet face to face and hopefully have a good conversation at the least than spend the time online. He's obviously attractive to me or I wouldn't have mentioned him and his profile interests me. He's in Toronto which a few of those I've been talking to lately haven't been. So...do I wait to see if he writes me or do I fast track him? That's quite bold for me but I think he'd accept, whether or not he'd want to go out with me from there is tough to say. That's pretty bold for me. I'm going to think about it for another day or so...

So now that I've had two full months on this site I feel it's time to regroup for anyone wondering if I still think they should try it. I do. I absolutely do. I know I got lucky - and then unlucky - off the bat with meeting *Arizona so soon but it's that same reason I'm still hopeful I can do better. It's all timing - much like real life - and I've had fun talking to a bunch of guys. Two coffee dates in the first month - one worthy of a second. And some very interesting new prospects. So I'm still a fan. A hopeful one...

Tally for day 35...

First Dates Pending: 1
Second Dates Pending: 1
New Matches I'm Excited About: 2!

Day 22.1

Monday

*Yarmouth = Yawn. First coffee date was a dud. I suspected so but its still a bit disappointing. I don't really know what we have in common and I think he's a bit too quiet for me. The awkward part of this is that before we finished our coffee he asked me if I'd like to go out again. I said Sure but I knew I didn't mean it. But how awkward what that have been to say, "No I don't think so...pause...should we get the check?" I mean really. I guess he was sure I wanted to but even he made a couple of comments about how it was awkward between us and asked if he was boring me because I did look around and people watch a bit when conversation lulled - which was often. I'm not shy. And I'm also a flirt. This date was bordering on painful, I couldn't even entertain myself. Now I just have to wait until he calls me and then tell him I didn't feel any chemistry. It will be hard, but I've done it before and it is the truth which he deserves and I try to treat people the way I'd want them to in return.

*Sigh* - there is something profoundly lonely about a bad first date. Maybe I am not cut out to date a bunch of these guys hoping for a connection. Maybe I trust myself in that I already know without meeting them. Let's hope I'm wrong because I'm going to keep trying!

So I got an email from *Detroit today saying he'll call me for sure this week to make a plan. We both have full weeks so it looks like probably next week or maybe this weekend we'll get together. I am looking forward to meeting him. He seems really sweet, funny, down to earth and cute. I hope there's a spark!

I heard back from *Johannesburg - we've hit Open Communication. I really like his answers and as I keep saying, there's something about him I'm attracted to that I can't quite explain. His first message to me didn't say much except mostly that we'll talk soon so I'm not sure what to do. I guess I could send him an email but I don't know what to say - a rarity for me! I'm going to give it a few days and see what happens, we've taken our time getting through the steps and I know he's been on here at least as long as I have and probably longer because I took a break for a month and a half after my first month. I don't know why that's relevant haha...

*Sacramento finally Opened Communication - again, not that I really care. And his first message is on the boring side - it just says if I have any questions for him to go ahead and ask. Snore. But, for whatever reason, our mutual friend *MIA was going to introduce us and then Eharmony matched us so I'm determined to follow through and meet him if we get to that out of curiosity! So I'm debating whether to up and tell him about our mutual friend connection. He might find it weird but I feel like I have information he doesn't and well we need to do something to spice up our conversations so...I'll keep you posted!

*Rochester and I are also in Open Communication and well, we're kind of arguing already ahaha! He's asked me the same question twice about what I would change about myself if I could and I keep answering in a way he deems untruthful or for whatever reason, unacceptable. I think I've been pretty clear and you're probably wondering why I bother talking to him but I love to debate and someone that's challenging me already is interesting to me. I'm not sure what will happen next, he'll either respond or close communication, not sure I care either way but we'll see...

There's another guy to mention - *Hartford. We are also at Open Communication - I know, that's 6 guys in Open Communication. It is a lot! But then again I just met *Yarmouth and that's over so really I'm only at 5 haha. *Hartford and I have had an interesting correspondence...I chose to circumvent the 2nd questions step in a way to push him on his MH/CS's. He lists family as a priority and a dislike for people that watch a lot of television and I don't know if I want kids - leaning towards no frankly, and I watch a lot of television - it's my livelihood and I love it. So I basically asked if we should bother going through the steps and he answered me really honestly and forthrightly so I am intrigued by him. He's supposed to call me this week too. So two dates on the horizon!!

There are 4 other guys I'm communicating with (and a 5th I think I want to close) - in various stages of the Guided Communication process. It does feel like a lot! I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed but also hopeful that there's someone here for me. Wish me luck!

Tally for Day 22.1...

First Date Disasters: 1
First Dates Pending: 2 !!
Guys in Open Communication: 6! (although we're about to close 1 - see First Date Disaster Above)
Guys I'm Communicating with in other steps: 5 (although only 4 actively)

Day 17.1

Wednesday

Two dates folks. Two dates next week! *Detroit and *Yarmouth both asked me to have coffee once we hit the "open communication" stage. Intelligent conversations with both of them, two very different guys so we'll see if there's a spark! There's potential with both. Wish me luck!

I am waiting to hear from *Johannesburg again. He has looked at my profile a couple of times but not answered my short answer questions. I wonder what he's thinking or if he's talking to someone else and is waiting to see what happens with them. I've certainly done that! I actually did that with him for over a month! But for some reason I'm curious about him so I'm still hoping to hear from him.

*Sacramento and I are at the point where he can open communication and we can talk freely over email but he hasn't. I don't really care, I'm following through only because of our real world connection. I'll keep you posted.

One of the other guys I have been communicating with but haven't mentioned is *Rochester. We've taken our time over the last couple of weeks going through the steps. He certainly is self-assured - not quite cocky - self-assured. He seems to know who he is or thinks he does anyway. Sometimes he says things that sit a little off with me and then he says something in his answers that connects right to me, reaches beyond this process and into real life, has a definite charm. Hard to explain. Why haven't I mentioned him before? The former part of that sentence really, but as we've moved along, he is peaking my curiosity. So now it's up to him to open communication if he likes my last answers to his short answer questions.

There are a couple of new matches I'd like to hear from but so far I've kept to my decision to not initiate, let them chase to begin with - we'll see if I stick to that!

Tally for Day 17.1...

Real Dates Impending Next Week: 2!!
Open Communication Pending: 2

Day 15.1

Monday

I've taken a different approach to eharmony this time. I am communicating with more of the guys that initiate with me than I did before. I'm entertaining some guys I might not have before. Partly because I was pretty swept up with *Arizona pretty quickly and we went from online to offline so quickly that online couldn't compete with offline. But I'm also trying to be less quick to judge. It is easy to be turned off by a statement or two in a profile or judge someone by their pictures when lots of people aren't that photogenic and look better in person so because of this, I have a lot of updates!

I'm communicating with 6 different guys - the three from my last post - *Johannesburg, *Detroit, and *Sacramento plus three others. Only one of the others is worth talking about at this point - let's call him...*Yarmouth.

So! *Detroit and I have gone through all the steps and he "Opened Communication" with me meaning we can email each other on the site, no restrictions on topics or length. He sent me an email, I sent one back. He's really funny, charming. Definitely has a brain and I think I want to meet him! I'm not in a rush, he'll have to want to and ask but the fact that I'd like to meet him is a good sign. I'm not sure if I just like him as a person and it will be a friendly vibe or if in person we'll click.

While I'm not in a rush, I also don't want to email for too long. It's one of my hangups of online dating. You can tell I'm a bit wordy and will get into talking about things and thinking things about him that may not be true in real life. So I just have to be aware of my tendencies to say too much too soon or fall in love on paper when they aren't so charming and engaging in person. Although I think *Detroit would be equally charming in person. I guess we'll see...

*Johannesburg answered my questions and then we exchanged MH/CS's really quickly over the weekend. I feel a click with him. Can't explain it. He seems mature and put together and I like what appears to be his attitude about life. So I sent him my 3 short answer questions last night. I look forward to his answers!

*Sacramento...the one my friend actually meant to hook me up with in real life and that I'm curious about just because we were then matched on eharmony. We don't seem to have as much in common as I would normally like. Even more so, if I didn't know who he was I would have closed communications based on the MH/CS's because he seems keen on starting a family and definitely is more conservative than I'm accustomed to finding attractive. But more to the point I was making off the top today, I'm staying open this time around. And I want to give him a chance to talk to me in person about his goals for his future. Or at least in a real email and not this guided communication stuff.

His 2nd questions to me were...metaphysical. Which I found a bit annoying. It's your first opportunity to ask me something, anything about me and you ask me if I had three wishes, what would they be? Right...I'm was trying to be less judgemental... I answered honestly, as honestly as you can to questions that seemed somewhat pointless. Sorry...there I go again. But now its up to him to open communication and see what a conversation would be like. I'm still open to it, I swear. Wouldn't it be ironic if he is the guy for me after all? I guess we'll see...

The new player in this is *Yarmouth. He sent me an "icebreaker" yesterday saying he liked my smile. I sent him one back this morning that said his profile seemed interesting, why doesn't he fill in more of the fields - remember these are predetermined messages - a very limited selection but I like that one when it applies. And then he did fill in more of his profile and sent me his first questions! I like the initiative. So I answered his and sent him mine.

He answered - and by now in this process with eharmony I like being surprised by responses but there are certainly answers I consider "more right" or "less right" in my expectations and his are all "more right". Pretty much what I wanted the answers to be when I picked those questions. Interesting. So I sent my MH/CS's...and he sent his back. At this rate we're going to fly through all of the steps of "guided communication" in one day - that would be a first! Not an unwelcome first either. It means there's no game, no pretense of waiting a day or two to respond to not seem too eager or something silly like that. Which is something I've been guilty of for sure but only in response to them doing it first. So I will send my 2nd questions and hope to get his back tonight too, I'll let you know tomorrow...this post has been long enough! That's what happens when you don't write for a week!

Tally for day 15.1...

No. of Guys Communicating with: 6
Open Communication with: 1 - possibly 2 by the end of today!
Butterflies brewing: 0 - but I'm hopeful they'll start if I meet any of these new guys

Day 8.1

Monday

Lots of updates, where to start? Okay, I'll start with *Arizona and perhaps end that story so we can move onto what is hopefully soon a budding new romance...

So I did it. I passively aggressively emailed him on eharmony. I know, I said I wouldn't. Or that I would call. I don't know, I'm a girl, I change my mind...a lot. I started an email...didn't like any of it. Trying to be cute and witty but not sound annoyed about where this has or rather, has not gone is tough! I just couldn't handle a phone call that started with him saying, "I'm sorry I haven't called" so I opted for the chickenshit route and tried to email him. But it wasn't working so I actually shut off my computer, left my apartment and made it all the way to the lobby when it hit me, I knew what I wanted to say. I thought I'd send it later after mulling it around a little longer...walked out of the building...went 10 feet...and turned around, went back up to my apartment, turned on my computer, wrote and sent a very good email. Why mess with a good idea and the guts when you have them?

It was brief... I said I know it was weird emailing him on eharmony but that it is the only email I have on him and that while I should probably be taking his lack of communication as a pretty clear signal, I'm a girl and we don't like to be left wondering so I had to throw a message out into the ether and see what came of it. It was short and sweet but not too sweet. Offering a clean slate, an open door, I told him I'd be Hot Doc'ing all week if he wanted to join me.

So for the next few hours (okay maybe still today...) every time I got an email notification from eharmony saying I received a "communication" from one of my matches my stomach flipped and I had a 3 second debate with myself to read further on whether it was from *Arizona or not. It wasn't. I half expected to see that he closed communication, that's what I'd like him to do if he isn't going to respond. But I feel better about it. That whole desire for closure that we women (or lots of us anyway, not to generalize!) are always after is satisfied for me - really. I'm done. Not to mention him again...unless of course he responds. But I can move forward 100%. Needy-Closure-Girl has left the building er... blog...And on that note...

*Johannesburg has not replied to my first questions after I answered his but again, he's a match from over a month ago and he may have moved on. He hasn't closed either so we'll see.

*Detroit and I have been exchanging steps...first questions, then MH/CS's...and then today I sent him my 3 short answer questions. We do seem to have a lot in common. His smile is sweet. But I'm not feeling that click - which I need to feel but I'm (pretending) to keep an open mind. It's almost summer, I'm up for some dates with guys I probably won't fall for - not sure why I'm more open to that in the summer but perhaps its Spring Fever - which I totally have! Don't get me started on my offline exploits...that would necessitate a whole other kind of blog...but back to *Detroit...at this rate we're going to get to "open communication" soon so that's kind of exciting. These steps do get a bit tedious when you aren't dying to move the process forward...

I have received quite a number of other requests, icebreakers and the like but none I'm interested in. It's flattering to be receiving so many communications - gives me hope. And I'm not gonna lie, there's something strangely addictive and comforting about waking up every day to the possibility of at least 7 new matches - still the same number every day for some reason. I like starting my day seeing who might be on there. It was nice to have the break for a month or so and I can see how after a number of months (and from what I can tell from the FAQ section, for some people its even years!) it could be tedious. But for now, its pretty fun. So if you're still wondering if you should try it - Y.E.S.

So! There's another interesting update for today...I received a request for communication (which as a reminder means someone sent me their first 5 questions) from *Sacramento. I had quickly looked through his profile when we were matched last week without any real feeling but I spent a bit more time as I contemplated whether I would answer his questions and send my own. I'm flipping through his profile pics (thankfully there were several, I hate when there's only one or a few - usually out of focus, badly cropped or photoshopped with their ex-significant others removed - or as I often wonder, their more handsome friends) and BAM! I've SEEN this picture before!! I KNOW who this guy is!!! And get this...I've seen it because a friend of mine a few months ago contemplated setting us up and showed me a few pictures of him from a hike they had been on recently. Go figure!! Not only does my friend *M.I.A. think we have something in common but so does eharmony! I find that odd and fascinating. I still don't feel anything when looking at his profile and *M.I.A. thinks he might be too conservative for me, but I'm definitely going to reply and see what happens - the fates have thrown us together twice now in the same year. I know, it's a big city but not that big and not THAT big a coincidence but still! So stay tuned, he hasn't answered my questions yet but he took a few days to initiate so maybe he's not on the site as much as I am. Too funny.

Anyway, I'm very long winded today so I'll leave you with today's tally...

Tally for Day 8.1...

First Questions Asked of me: 1
First Questions Answered by me: 1
First Questions Sent by me: 1
MH/CS exchanged: 1
Short Answer Questions Asked by me: 1
Guys I'm Waiting to hear from (not *Arizona): 2
Passive Agressive Closure Emails Sent: 1

Day 5.1

Friday

Five days in and no one has me really excited. I receive 7 matches every day (I should go to Vegas and bet on 7...) but as before, most aren't really "matches". But it's early so I'm still optimistic. I am in first question stages with two guys...

One is a match from before actually. He sent me first questions and I didn't answer them because of *Arizona but I didn't close the match either because there was a lot in his profile that I really liked. His pictures are...inconclusive haha. Let's call him...*Johannesburg. In some pics he seems cute, some...not as cute but he's definitely adventurous and travels and I do like his profile. I don't know if I waited too long to respond that he won't answer my questions but I guess we'll see...

The other is again a guy who's profile I really like, he loves this city like I do and seems to enjoy a lot of the same activities. *Detroit sent me his first questions the day after we were matched, I answered and sent him mine today. I'm not really excited but he seems sweet and genuine and has a nice smile so I'll decide whether to MH/CS with him if he answers my questions.

For those curious about whether I've called *Arizona...I haven't. Some days I care, some days I don't. It doesn't help that I can see his name on my "communicating" page. Hmmm, never thought of it before but I guess I could close the match and see if he sends me one last reply but that seems too passive aggressive for me. I'm much more likely to call him. Damn, writing about it makes me want to call him. So ya, apparently there's more to this story. But then hopefully someone will come up on eharmony and I'll forget all about him.

I have a feeling someone will appear this weekend that I'll be excited about...wish me luck!!

Tally for Day 5.1...

1st Questions asked of me: 2
1st Questions answered by me: 2
1st Questions sent by me: 2

Day 1.1

Saturday

I'm back! Apparently what appears too good to be true...probably is. Turns out Arizona isn't all that interested in a relationship - or at least, not one with me. So be it. We had some absolutely wonderful dates, I really liked him and saw potential which is, as you probably know by now, more than I've really felt in years of dating so all in all - a successful first attempt at eharmony.

For anyone wanting more details...I don't think he was over being married and not looking to move forward at the pace I was. A date once a month isn't enough for me. For a guy on eharmony I made the assumption he wanted a relationship and in all of our dates he sounded like he did. But actions speak louder than words. And he seemed a bit self-absorbed - not that I'm going to trash him because he wasn't that into me, but he was - ask my friends. haha! We all get busy but at the end of the day that's just an excuse. If you like someone, you find time to be with them. I'm a bit confused about the whole Arizona situation and haven't had the closure that I do kind of want. I still think there's a phone call I'm going to make to him. I do like him and I know he likes me. So maybe I'll make the call to leave the door open for perhaps another time...or maybe I won't. I'll keep you posted. For interests sake, he is still on eharmony and has changed a couple of words in his profile so I know it's at least an active account...wierd that we could still communicate via the site but that seems very weird and I won' be doing that!

I said I wasn't going to try it again - eharmony that is - or at least not right away. I thought maybe I'd try again in the winter when there are fewer patios to sit on and more hours at the computer. And then...eharmony sent me a coupon I couldn't resist. 3 months for the price of the first one I already tried. And frankly, there was another guy in "real life" I saw a couple of times but it wasn't right either, so I've got nothing else going on...why not? You have to hand it to them, those marketers, they really know how to lure you in and keep you! But to be fair, my first experience was really positive and I've been telling everyone that's curious to go for it, that you have nothing really to lose, so I'm listening to my own advice. And if there is something I learned from this first go around, it's that I am ready and actively looking for a great guy to share my life with - for however long, but I am looking. I know they say you find someone when you aren't looking but that hasn't worked for me either!

I missed the blog too. Not that I would trade it for a relationship but I have enjoyed the self-discovery that comes from relating this experience and saying it out loud. As an analytical gal I have really enjoyed it and getting me writing every day has been good for me.

So I've started the days over with 1.1 and will let you know how it goes! Waiting for my first matches to come through...wish me luck!

Tally for Day 1.1...

Eharmony relationships failed: 1
Optimism for another go at it: limitless!

Day 26

Tuesday

Day 26...less than a week to go in the month long subscription. Updates? I turned off the automatic renewal on eharmony and have had less and less interest in looking at new matches. But I still look.

Interestingly, the day after I wrote that it was funny the other guys I had been communicating with were strangely silent, they must have heard me - the next day *Chicago answered my 3 short answer questions and asked his own, and another guy initiated with me that I'd put in my "interested" column. I haven't responded, I'm not going to. I can't imagine either of them being remotely as endearing, charming, mature, sweet - okay, okay, I'll stop - as *Arizona.

Speaking of...I had another great date with *Arizona! I even introduced him to *Stevie! She thinks he's great too - very important. I don't think I've introduced someone so early to friends nor wanted to - nor been out with a guy willing to be introduced at this point. I can't wait for him to meet everyone, my friends, my family, my whole life. I want to share all the parts of my life that matter to me, with him. We continue to connect on all sorts of levels that seem beyond chance. We talk for hours upon hours and enjoy so many of the same things, agree on so many important world issues and - oh wait, distracted, he just called :-) Needless to say...I keep getting told by friends and coworkers that they've never seen me like this.

Anyway, the point is that I think I've found someone great - or rather, eharmony introduced me to someone great. I am closing all the matches I get and instead of telling them "I want to pursue other matches at eharmony", I've switched to "I'm pursuing another relationship". Because I think that's what I'm doing - I certainly hope so anyway!

But back to eharmony...I mentioned last time that I thought I'd exhausted the interesting matches available. I no longer believe that to be true. I think without *Arizona, that there are anywhere from 10-15 guys I'd be interested in talking to, at least initially - many new ones pop up every day. It's quite fascinating still. And many of whom have initiated communication with me (but I haven't reciprocated). Granted, my heart isn't in it, but I've been objectively looking at this as an experiment and this blog as a way to share my opinions on eharmony. Even knowing I might be extremely lucky, blessed, due, whatever, in finding *Arizona right off the bat, even without that, I'm recommending it! And if you ask around I think you'll hear a lot of similar stories. I've certainly heard my share which I wouldn't have believed without this experience but now know to be true.

So I've closed matches I knew there was absolutely no interest in and I haven't answered a few others, but I know a part of that is that I have one week left - less than now - and there's still that "what if", "where's the other shoe dropping" part of me that makes me hang on - even though I have very few doubts about *Arizona. I'm just really rational and haven't found anything like this in almost a decade so I am a touch sceptical. Not to mention my vehement arguments that online dating wouldn't work for me! I do believe I deserve to find something real like this and am so hopeful it continues. I believe it will, I've had no reason to think otherwise. since the moment I met him. How refreshing to be into someone that is into me. It shouldn't be that hard, but it has been for me. I'm so excited for what's next for us.

I am sad to see such an early end to this blog, I have really been enjoying it. And sharing my experiences for anyone curious. I will say it again - TRY IT. You have nothing to lose...and perhaps...a great relationship to gain. One month, $60...money forgotten about a week in. TRY IT. And tell me how it goes! Who knows? Maybe that's the next installment of Digital Liaisons...

When Day 30 hits, I'll send another update. From what I can tell right now, I'll be with *Arizona so give me a little leeway on the timing haha.

And as always...wish me luck!!

Tally for Day 26:

Great Guys Met: 1
Relationships Building: 1
Hopes for the future: Infinite!

Should you try it? Y.E.S.

Day 21

Thursday

I feel like I should post a warning, that this might be a long post - but it might also be my last about eharmony. Not just because I've taken a few days off, but because it's going to be introspective. Clearly this process, adventure, journey whatever the heck this is, has changed for me. I went from fairly passive observer to a very active and smitten participant. It went from online to live, real life, faster and better than I ever could have imagined. So how do I share it with you?

I guess I should start with an update. I had a second, amazing date with *Arizona. He's incredible. We're reciprocally enamoured in a way I've never experienced before. I have no insecurities - well, I'd love to have my 28 year old body back but you know, we're talking about real life here ;-) I am already starting to want him to meet my friends, my family, share my life in a way I've never experienced. I don't know if I've ever said that - not for real. He makes me nervous and shy and excited and safe and open and hopeful...are you nauseated yet?

To be honest, I've spent most of my dating life trying to be whatever I thought the guy I was with wanted. I assessed a situation and adapted to it instead of putting what I want out there and seeing if it came back to me. Which this experience has been all about. I kind of hope that seems silly to you. I hope you don't associate with it at all... Up front, I'm on a site about finding a partner, a relationship. Up front, I'm telling random strangers who I am and what I want in that partner. Up front, I'm telling men what I "must have & can't stand" fundamentally in a partner.

For me, this is a complete turnaround. I've specialized in men that are selfish, that aren't emotionally mature, that can't say they want to see me next week without worrying I'm planning our wedding which they ultimately have no interest in. Which, if they'd spent any time getting to know me at all would realize isn't what I want either, but it's always been about them, not me. I've sought these men out. I've found lots of them that weren't even single. It was easier, I invested less, I risked less, and I got less. Way less. I get now, at 32, that it was what I was putting out there. And what I found as a result. What a revelation.

Regardless of whether *Arizona and I end up happily ever after (however we both define that), this 3 week experience has been an experience that real life dating might never have given me. I admit this blog has participated in that learning experience. I'm a private person. I started sharing this with my friends yet quickly wanted to share it with whoever wanted to read it. I got there because of the hugely positive reaction by anyone that's read any part of this. Again, what you put out there, is what you get back. I believe that. I always did but it was lip service before - in terms of relationships for me - it's how I operate in the rest of my life which has been very successful - why I sacrificed that for what is perhaps the most important part of my life - I have no idea. But I'm learning - hopefully, I've learned.

But back to *Arizona :-) It's shockingly bizarre how many things we have in common that we could never have known nor could eharmony have known. And yet eharmony matched us - immediately. We have probably crossed paths numerous times in the last 5 years - realistically, many, many times. But it took this strange online world to connect us. Why? How? Who cares? I'm not going to philosophize or justify or claim that eharmony has some sort of magic that I couldn't have found on my own. Nor am I going to say that it seems to have worked for me therefore it will work for you. I'm going to get back to that later...

So what is happening in my eharmony life? I get about 7-10 matches a day. I do look at them all - definitely not with the fervour and immediacy that I did when I started this but I look all the same. I'm human, I'm curious, I've paid for it. And I've had two dates with *Arizona. But it's in no way a safety net, I'm out there with *Arizona, no reservations, no holding back, I'm 100% in. I am smiling like an idiot savant as I walk down the street, I look forward to everything that's next for us - in time... Wait, here I am talking about *Arizona again. I was trying to talk about my eharmony experience...

Okay, so coincidentally, or not, the other guys I was talking to have been silent and absent - *Chicago and *Minnesota. Clearly they are pursuing other matches and yet they aren't so far gone as to close our communication. In fairness, neither have I. I think it's the "waiting for the other shoe to drop", or, "too good to be true" part of this that has me holding off on closing them myself. We aren't talking about 20 guys here, we're talking about 2. I've ignored or closed every other offer for contact since. No one can compete with *Arizona. Is it because he's real? No. I mean yes of course that has to factor in, but so much more importantly, it's because he's amazing, to me.

I went through the motions of cancelling my membership today. What does that mean? For anyone interested, it's a fairly cryptic system where they will automatically charge your credit card the day your month expires if you don't find this "cancellation" page. I knew this going in. But today I went to close it. It says that if I select this, the day my month expires, I cease to exist on eharmony. I'm totally fine with that. But did I close it? No. Why? I don't know. I will. I'm sure of it. Next week. I have time yet. Writing this, I feel a bit ridiculous.

I feel that I've probably been matched with anyone currently in the database that's of any interest to me. There are a whole lot of matches I am surprised eharmony deems worthy of sending me. I feel like if this doesn't work with *Arizona and I, that I'll definitely be done with eharmony for a while. I'll take a break, I'll take the summer off, I'm not desperate, I love my life and I'm now so in touch with myself I feel like I have whole new lease on my dating life. If after whatever amount of time, I want to try again, I'll shell out the $60 for another month. I have NO intention of sitting on this site month after month - even for just $20 a month - in hopes that the perfect guy is going to sign on while I sit waiting. I think it's the sitting and waiting part that disinterests me. I love my life. I tried this for fun, out of curiosity, because I felt I needed to for some reason, maybe just to get me writing more often. And hopelessly romantically, because maybe I was supposed to meet *Arizona.

So my advice? Try it. IF and it's a big IF, several of them really...IF you really can be honest with yourself in filling out the extensive profile. IF you do know what you really want. IF you are willing to put it out there. IF you can be open minded about someone's profile that might at the start, rub you the wrong way but that you can trust your instincts to pursue. IF, IF, IF. I think I was in the right place personally, emotionally, whatever-ally, for this to work. I'm not trying to deter you, I'm really trying to encourage you if you're wavering, if you're wondering. You really have nothing to lose. It's very safe and nothing if not entertaining! I also have read the data that it seems to work best for 30 somethings in densely populated areas. I'm a perfect market for their "system". But it's working for me - the data is correct. Beyond my analytical, cynical, optimistically rational self, it's working. Beyond all my reservations. Beyond my best hopes. Just know that what you put out there is what you get back. I'm glad I'm finally learning it. Seems so simple but man, its taken me a long time to learn it. And who knew this experience would teach me. Me, that thought I was immune, above, insusceptible, probably not going to be touched by this experience. Sometimes, I love being wrong.

So where does that leave us? My readers - I can't tell you how grateful I've been that any of you are reading and are interested - beyond my girls that I hope support whatever fanciful idea I come up with ;-) - but I am already at the point where it's very personal. I hope I'm not delusional to think that if I shared this with *Arizona, that he'd find it flattering? I haven't read back to see if I really believe that to be true. But this ceases to be an eharmony blog now, it's a relationship blog and I'm not sure that's fair to him. I'm still new to this blogging world.

I do promise to write again before the month expires. I do promise to update you again. Beyond that, I'm not sure. If this started as an eharmony blog then it ends here with - try it.

If it continues to be an outlet I need and enjoy then I'll figure that out. I'm just not sure how I can share this with you and not with him. Or how if I share with you and him that I can be real with either of you. I always anticipated this, I just didn't think it would happen so quickly. Or with so much anticipation and joy on my part. I think honestly that I was so much more ready for it to go on with me still not finding anyone to share my life with, with some dates with varying successes - a "sunglasses guy" here and there haha. *Arizona has taken me completely by surprise and I'm "loving every minute of it" for you Seinfeld fans :-)

Wish me luck!

Tally for Day 21:

Real life relationships happening: 1 !!!

Day 16

Sunday

Here's where the online world gets a little weird for me. This constant access and ability to see what someone is doing when they aren't communicating with you is weird. Or maybe just needs some getting used to...

So I had a great conversation with *Arizona yesterday - initiated by a text from me and what I kind of thought might result in a call back from him - which it did. We talked for 25 minutes and solidified plans for next week. He was on his way to his brother's and I was on my way to a friend's birthday party...

I logged into eharmony this morning - out of curiosity, it's become part of a routine of sorts. I had 9 new matches today - none worth mentioning. But here's the thing...in my "match update" section it says *Arizona updated his profile. So I looked, he's added two pictures. - yesterday, after we talked as far as I know. He hasn't been to my profile since Friday and I hadn't been to his either but now he's going to know I looked at his.

In no way do I expect that he's done with eharmony any more than I am. I think it might frighten me more to know after one date and a couple of conversations that he was ready to throw in the towel on dating, as romantic a gesture as that might be... But that doesn't change the fact that it's strange. And now he'll see that I looked at him, which means that he knows I was a) on the eharmony site and b) he may realize I know he changed his profile.

I guess it's just that in real life I wouldn't know any of these things. Perhaps it would be the same if were were facebook friends, stalking each other as seems to be the norm for people these days. And yet the difference is we're both on a fairly serious dating site and can see at least in little ways, whether the other has been on it or not. Ignorance might have some bliss to it yet...

I know, I'm blogging about him and he doesn't even know and that might become a much bigger issue than the small fact that we're both still looking at eharmony. And at some point, this might all come out in the wash. I'm sharing only in the interests of somewhat full disclosure that I'm still finding parts of this whole process weird and difficult.

But, ultimately, I'm going to trust in the fact that I'm so excited to see him in a couple of days and am already thinking about the time after that...

Wish me luck!

Tally for Day 16:

New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0
Weird Insecurities and Nerves Showing: Some ;-)

Day 15

Saturday

So no, I didn't run away to Vegas and get hitched haha and I wasn't abducted by a crazy internet guy. But I did need a couple of days to bask in the glow of a great first date and what seems to be an amazing man. It has changed this experiment for me. In the way I had hoped of course but I don't know if I ever believed it was possible.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves, I know it was just one date. Still, it was the best date I've had in two years. There was chemistry and flirting and almost 6 straight hours of great conversation. We connect on so many levels it's almost hard to believe. I didn't look at the time once and have more butterflies now than I had before the date. Ask anyone that saw me over the next couple of days, I was glowing from within!

So what does that mean for my eharmony self? I think I'd be getting ahead of myself if I closed up shop and applied to eharmony for *Arizona and I to be their next cute commercial couple! As much potential as I feel with *Arizona I don't want to have a couple of more dates and find out he's crazy in some capacity or that our initial connections were too surface or that there's nothing more than chemistry there. But I have to give some serious credit to eharmony for such an incredible first met-online date. They really are on to something here. I keep saying he's a man, not a boy, a man. No games, no waiting and wondering if he likes me. It's true about the message in that book "he's just not that into you" - when he is into you, you know it. How nice!

I could really talk about *Arizona for pages but I'll spare you that and just give you the after date update. He sweetly texted me the next afternoon and we made plans for dinner next week. He called me that night to chat and talk about where we'd go, and we talked for 25 minutes today!

What I've done with respect to eharmony is continue to look at the matches they send me - 7 or 8 of them per day since I met *Arizona. Certainly not with the same excitement or immediacy that I have been - I didn't check them at all yesterday. And I closed a ton of matches - many first question requests from men I haven't really wanted to respond to, I closed communication with *Seattle - telling him in my form closed message that I was pursuing another match. I was wished luck by a few of them and one who I hadn't answered his questions asked me to reconsider, he thought we had potential. I'm much quicker and more decisive - I learned something from *Boston, and feel it's respectful to tell them I'm pursuing someone else. I don't want to waste anyone's time.

There have been a couple of guys that if I could pretend *Arizona doesn't exist, sound interesting. None of them have contacted me which I think is a good thing. I don't know what I'll do if they do. The fact is I can't pretend *Arizona doesn't exist - he does and he's great! It certainly is hard if not impossible for any online profile to compete with a live human being I've connected with. And have continued to connect with almost every day since we've met.

I want this experiment to work, I want to believe *Arizona and I were meant to meet and perhaps this way and that there is something to the eharmony matching process. I'll be the first to recommend eharmony to anyone curious already, let alone whether this works out between *Arizona and I. I want a relationship, that's mostly why I did this. I also want to take it slow and have it be real. So for now, the profile stays up and I'll keep you posted...

Wish me luck!

Tally for Day 15:

Real Connections Made: 1

Day 12

Wednesday

S.M.I.T.T.E.N. !!!

Day 11

Tuesday

An uneventful day over all. Only 6 new matches, none worth mentioning and no communication from any of the others I've been talking to. It's a good thing I have a date tomorrow or I might be feeling a little less enthused by the whole eharmony thing today! I know, every day can't be a banner day, I'm sure I won't always be wowed and entertained...and it was good to have a day of just work, much like a pre-eharmony day. It was nice to forget about it and as such, it gave me those moments where I'd remember I'm meeting *Arizona tomorrow and smile...and wonder what to wear!!!

As there wasn't any real action to participate in tonight, I spent a bit of time going through all the matches that were in my "maybe" tab and closing the majority of them - there were over 40 since the first day! Some had posted new pictures which helped. Some I requested their photo as their profile was interesting but I won't know unless I can make some visual contact with them. I just don't want to leave matches open indefinitely because I'm wondering what they look like. I edited my profile a bit as I had read through it with a friend today and thought, now that I'm more comfortable with this process, I wanted to change a bit of what I put out there.

There is one guy from yesterday that looked at my profile today that I had been interested in when I saw his yesterday. He'll see that I looked at his again today too, perhaps that will nudge him in the direction of initiating contact with me. To be continued...or not...we'll see.

So my first eharmony date comes on Day 12 of this adventure - I'm really looking forward to it. *Arizona seems pretty great, very real, mature, down to earth, he's older which I've always thought would be good for me and he's taken the initiative - all good signs. I'm not nervous the way I sometimes can be but that doesn't suggest a lack of enthusiasm. I have a feeling I'm going to have a really good time. I hope so anyway! Wish me luck!

Tally for Day 12:

New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0
Outfits to plan for a date: 1 !!

Day 10

Monday

Double digit days. First person to person contact. I called *Arizona! We had a great talk - 23.25 minutes according to my phone log. Not too much beyond the "recommended" first call. Not that it was on my mind when we were talking! Just an afterthought as I write this. It went really well. Get this... I am the first person he got as a match after he paid last week. We joined just days apart and I was the first match he could see that he looked at. Is it just me or is that potentially really romantic! And he told me about it in our first call. That tells me he's open, he isn't hiding anything from me. I reciprocated by telling him it's only been a week for me. He also offered up , or maybe I asked, I don't remember...that he's on eharmony because two of his best, long time friends have been in long relationships because of eharmony. I'm beginning to really believe this system works - is that weird? I don't mean to pretend I think *Arizona is the guy for me but I'm open to the possibility.

So! We're going out on Wednesday. Wish me luck! My first eharmony date...

I'm a bit fascinated by the conversation in a sense - for the first time ever, I had the guy's number to call, I didn't passively give him mine and wait to hear from him. I called, when it worked for me. He asked me to get together and I picked the date and time. He picked the place because it was convenient for me - oddly enough, one of my favourite haunts haha! And suggested a possible activity that I would totally love, that he had no idea before he said it, but was spot on! There's a definite compatibility here, or at least, what appears to be a compatibility. And a definite confidence in me that perhaps I wouldn't have if we'd met first. Definitely in part because I know he is interested in what he knows about me, he fast tracked, he sent me 2 messages before I said a word and the second had his phone number in it. He wanted me to call, I'm sure that made it easier. I don't know what it all means. But I'm feeling good about it, about him, about this whole process. *Natalie...thank you for nudging me (to use an eharmony word haha) in this direction. Regardless of what happens, you're right, so far, this has been good for me, as me. No matter what happens.

Meanwhile, *Minnesota sent back his "MH/CS" - is that strange to talk about dating one guy and talking to another? It is for me, but in online terms I don't think it is. Not that I know, it's still all new to me. I just think, so what, I've had one conversation with a guy, so I'm going to put a hold on anyone else until I meet him? I don't think that's the point of this. I suspect that will change quickly if I have a good time with *Arizona. I really am a one-guy kind of girl. Perhaps that's been part of my reluctance about trying online dating. Too much buffet, not enough Kobe beef.

So, *Minnesota's "MH/CS" were great. We had four on each side that matched and there was nothing in his that struck a wrong note with me. I wanted to learn more. So I sent three short answer questions to him. I do look forward to hearing back from him.

It does change things when there's a real person involved. A person I've phoned. A person I've spoken to and shared some part of my life with. Someone I am looking forward to meeting - what am I going to wear???? If I like him, this will get tougher. A real person instead of 10+ people a day that I'm reading about and considering talking to. But one date, is one date, and I guess we'll see...

Speaking of, 9 new matches, but I think I've got enough going on!

Tally for Day 10:

Live contact by phone made: 1 !!!
Date to meet scheduled: 1 !!!
Must Haves/Can't Stands Returned: 1
New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0

Day 9

Sunday

Well, the answer I've been waiting for came in today...*Boston closed our communication. He did leave me a closed message - a list of reasons, you can check any or all that apply - he checked that he is pursuing other matches at eharmony. I suspected that. That doesn't mean I'm not disappointed.

But that's really it. I'm not hurt, I'm somewhat relieved because now I know and I don't sit wondering. Which in real life would be totally different. I'd be wondering why he didn't call when he seemed into me and probably stupidly text him or something trying to illicit a response. I've mentioned my forwardness...anyway, this kept me from doing that, I feel fine about what communications we shared and if I'm not for him, so be it. Really. I think I would have been more upset if he had done it right after we had all that contact. I would have taken it more personally, I would have thought it was something I said. And maybe it was, I'll never know. But I appreciate that he closed the match and gave me a reason, neither of which he was required to do. He could have left it open, he could have let me wonder. See, I knew he was a good guy, haha, just not the guy for me.

So just out of curiosity sake, I could have one more contact with him, I could choose to send him a final reply to his closed message - which I would think of doing if I had more control over what you can say, but these are the only options available in that section and none of them are me at all...

- I have now posted my photo and when it is approved it should be available to you.
- I have completed all my Match Profile questions.
- Good luck with your search.
- I really felt that we had potential. I'd like you to reconsider.

- I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am.

I don't want to say any of those things to him. The last two have a hint of desperation that I have no intention of sending him. Sometimes I get the "good luck with your search" message when I close matches. Sometimes I think that's nice and other times that its just unnecessary. So on that note, I'll just let *Boston close the match. He can at any time reopen the match if he changed his mind, but for me, this is over. Bye-bye *Boston!

The other good thing about this is that I'm going to be more open when I talk to *Arizona - I emailed him today to say I'll call him tomorrow. I have a couple of concerns about *Arizona and I am kind of missing the information I would have gotten if we continued in the guided communication. But ultimately this isn't a game, it's a chance to meet someone so let's get on with the meeting! I don't have butterflies in the way I had for *Boston and that I even have a little bit with *Chicago but on the other hand, I have a weird comfort level with *Arizona. I don't know if it's the fact we're in the same business or if he just seems that down to earth but I am a bit nervous about calling him. I've just never done this before, like this. Wish me luck!

Speaking of *Chicago, he looked at my profile today but still no answer to my questions. I wonder if this is like *Boston and that means he's communicating with someone else and waiting to see what happens. I'm totally fine with that if that's the case, but the fact that I keep bringing him up means I do want to hear from him.

In new news...the guy from yesterday with the icebreaker and no picture sent my his first five questions and posted a picture! A cute picture! So I answered *Minnesota's questions and sent him mine - they were mostly the same questions I ask which hasn't really happened yet. I more or less send the same questions, give or take a couple depending on what is or isn't in his profile and what he asked me. He answered my questions pretty quickly - the same way I answered his more or less! I liked that for some reason so later in the day I sent him my "MH/CS". We'll see what happens next!

10 new matches today - 0 worth mentioning.

Tally for Day 9:

Matches Closed on Me worth mentioning aka First (online) Heartbreak: 1
First Questions Asked I Answered: 1
First Questions Asked He Answered: 1
Must Haves/Can't Stands Sent by me: 1
New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0

Day 8

Saturday

I accepted *Arizona's fast track request. He wrote a really nice email about liking my profile and he thinks he gets where I'm coming from so would like to talk to me, the steps feeling a bit unnecessary to him. After I accepted that first message he wrote me another one saying he's glad I accepted the open communication and sent me his number to call whenever is good for me. It makes me nervous to be the one to call but it is what is recommended by the site, that the guy give his number to the girl to call when she's comfortable - other advice, just for interest's sake...that the first conversation should be only around 15 minutes. Interesting, not entirely sure why but they seem to have something here so I'll see if that makes sense after we talk. Maybe I'll call him tomorrow...or Monday.

Nothing from *Boston. I'm thinking he's not sure about me or has someone (or someone's!) he's talking to instead. I get this feeling because he was all over me in the beginning of the week, initiating, getting right back to me and now this lull...I guess we'll see.

No answers from *Chicago either but he hasn't been in to look at my profile today.

*Seattle and I exchanged "MH/CS" and they're seemingly compatible. I just don't have any real feelings about him or for him. I'm not sure I should keep talking to him. Or maybe I should try the short answers and see what I think then. That is the thing about this online format, there's no investment and if you hurt each others feelings there aren't any real repercussions because you've never spoken or met. I'll think about it for another day or so.

9 new matches today. Several of them didn't have pictures. One of them sent me a "just wanted to say hi" icebreaker but there's no picture! If he sends me first questions I'll request one. Other than that, nothing new worth mentioning.

Tally for Day 8:

Fast Track Accepted by me: 1 !!
Emails Received Under Open Communication: 2 !!
New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0

Day 7

Friday.

So I'm through week 1 of this adventure. I have a friend at work *Gordie who is trying his own online dating world with okcupid and has been on it a bit longer than I've been trying eharmony. I have to say it appears I've made the right choice. *Gordie has so far had two lesbians separately, yet on the same day, proposition him to try men one more time, and a creepy looking goth girl with a boyfriend contact him, and not much else worth mentioning. Granted, I'm 8 years older so may have more serious suitors, but still... *Gordie's experience is exactly why I've avoided online dating thus far. But eharmony so far has been kind of awesome. There are 3 guys I'm quite interested in and am excited about talking with and a 4th that I'm not sure about, but am taking the steps to see where it leads. In a week. That's about as many guys as I would have listed as of interest to me in all of the last year. And as long as they are being truthful, I know more about them than the ones I met and dated in real life. Interesting...

So no word from *Boston. It appears he hasn't looked at my profile since I sent my answers late on Wednesday night. There's a "Who's Viewed Me" tab that shows who has looked at your profile in the past 2 weeks by each day. And I've been avoiding looking at his profile so he couldn't see that I was basically waiting to hear from him. I wasn't entirely sure it was accurate to go by that tab but it seems to be right, it reflects people I've heard from AND he appears to have looked tonight!!

So I'm fairly certain now he's read my answers. It is Valentine's Day weekend so I don't romanticize hearing from him this weekend. Although if I did hear from him by him "opening communication" with me, I'd certainly accept! That would mean we can then communicate by email as long as like on their site or exchange other ways to speak. But I guess he's thinking about it...I have to remember that he could be speaking to lots of women and this next stage is pretty much the step where you decide to speak and meet. If he's as great as he seems, there are probably lots of women he's talking to and getting responses from. But, he did initiate with me and reciprocated each step quickly so I'm still hoping he'll open the communication...soon?!?!! Yes, I am impatient! It just speaks to the fact that I do like him...

I sent *Arizona my "MH/CS" and he replied with a "Fast Track" request!!! This means he wants to skip the rest of the guided communication, he didn't send me his "MH/CS", he just wants to talk. Part of me likes the steps in "guided communication" but I'm flattered he wants to meet me. I think I'll let this wait until tomorrow.

It is weird for me to think about seeing *Arizona and wanting to see *Boston and wanting to hear from *Chicago all at the same time. It's very opposite to my nature to juggle men and in real life I might wait to see if I hear from *Boston again before moving forward with *Arizona but I guess this is all part of the online process and I don't want to miss opportunities and if *Arizona had come first or there was no *Boston or *Chicago then how would I feel? It's really hard to know.

Speaking of *Chicago, I moved forward by sending him my 3 short answer questions. I'm really looking forward to getting his answers to learn more about him. I was so impressed with his "MH/CS" that he seems very different than my first impression - different in great ways. Again I don't anticipate hearing from him on Valentine's Day and it's also a long weekend so I'm not sure there will be any update on him for a while. But he could prove me wrong again!

The 4th guy I've been mentioning, that I'm not sure about but exchanged first questions with yesterday - *Seattle - I chose not to communicate with today. I am not sure if I want to go down this road with him but need to keep my mind open. He seems fun and funny, he could be a great guy. I don't have a huge physical attraction to him but there is something about him that I find endearing. My friend *Courtney thinks he looks great so maybe I'll send him my "MH/CS", I'm going to wait on that until tomorrow too.

I received 9 new matches today and none worth mentioning. Not that I feel like there isn't enough on the go right now! But I have to keep myself open...the right guy for me might be in my inbox at any point (if he isn't already) and a crush on a guy (or 3) on a screen isn't realistic enough for me yet, so the adventure continues...

Tally for Day 7:

New Matches Worth Mentioning: 0
Must Haves/Can't Stands Sent by me: 1
Fast Track Requested by him: 1 !!
Short Answer Questions Sent by me: 1

Day 6

Thursday...

So *Boston probably read my answers today...I must admit I reread them myself a few times to see if I was happy with what I wrote. They're okay. Give me too much time to analyze something of mine and I'll find ways I would like to improve it. But its fine and I don't think there's anything in there that would make him close the match but I guess we'll see. I was wordier than I think I needed to be - shocking, I know. And I wish I had edited a bit more before hitting send, - that's what a bit of wine will do I suppose, but he's going to have to get to know and like that me too so I have no problem with sharing my slightly more gregarious side already...but it's natural to have insecurities and nervousness about it, I think there's potential that I like this guy. Feels weird saying that about someone I've never spoken to live or in person, but that's online dating I suppose. I was very honest - even admitting that a friend had paid for a one month subscription to encourage me to try it. This all-honestly, all-upfront, all-the-time, is scary and refreshing and hard and introspective and...and...and...

The day ended without hearing from him...but that's okay, I mean I have no idea how many other women he's at this point with or already dating for that matter. And maybe he's waiting to hear from some other girl first - who knows? He hasn't closed the match so...wish me luck!

In the meantime! *Chicago sent me back his "MH/CS" and I was really impressed. I'm going to ignore whatever it was initially that made me think there wasn't much depth to him and give him more credit - I think I felt that way because there wasn't as much information in his profile as I would have liked. He talks about intelligence and education in his "MH/CS" and other really important traits that I had listed as well - I think we shared 4 on each side, Must Haves and Can't Stands, and I definitely could easily have interchanged some of his with some of mine. There was just one that in his Must Haves that has me humming and hawing... "Attractiveness...... I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards."

Don't get me wrong, I want someone attractive - to me. Whether that is "current standard" or not, is the part that throws me off. He is a very good looking guy so understandably he wants someone very attractive as a partner. That doesn't bother me. Maybe just that it's in his list of top 10 Must Haves that I'm bothered by it when there were so many other choices I personally would have picked and did pick first. But whatever, such a minor thing for now, I'm really looking forward to getting to know more about him because his profile doesn't say much at all. I'll send him my 3 short-answer questions...tomorrow.

I received 15 new matches today and there's a new guy in there that I'm interested in talking to. And he sent me his first 5 questions as well so we're off to a good start. *Arizona and I work in the same business which I've generally preferred to avoid because I like to learn about other jobs and why someone is passionate about doing something else but I definitely wouldn't discount someone in my industry. Interestingly, I sent him back my 5 questions and he answered them very well - including a blurb about our business that struck a chord with me! Quite a lot of contact on this first day...so I'll wait until tomorrow to send him my "MH/CS".

Another guy I had kept in my "maybe" section asked me his first 5 questions today. I'm on the fence about this guy from my initial reading of his profile and looking through his pictures but there's something about him that says I'll see where it goes. And he initiated so I answered his questions and sent him mine and he replied to them as well - not that I respond to everyone that initiates - not even close. But I had looked at his profile a few times and put him under my "maybe" tab which for me, means I might respond if they initiate. I haven't decided whether I'm ready to send my "MH/CS" yet. This talking to many guys about such personal info so soon is a bit weird - and it's only Day 6!

Tally for Day 6:

New Matches Worth Mentioning: 1
1st Questions Received that I Answered: 2
1st Questions I sent that were Answered: 2
Must Haves/Can't Stands Exchanged: 2