Sunday...
I woke up nice and late on Sunday to my blinking blackberry...the cute guy who's questioned I answered and then asked my own has responded to my questions! I think it's time to name this guy and so let's pick places so as not to give anything away...so *Denver answered my questions. And no, I didn't get right up, turn on my computer and read them. No, I did what I had to do during the day, ran my errands, had some lunch...and then checked.
Aside...I was out running errands and imagined seeing these guys I've been "matched" with on eharmony and I swear I saw one of them in an aisle at Shoppers. Was it him? Maybe, maybe not, who knows? This big city can be awfully small. Just thought it was funny that I'm thinking that when I'm only on Day 2! Ha!
So back to *Denver! I like his answers! I'm definitely interested. Now what? His profile says he prefers fast track communication to guided but he started with guided so now what? I so don't know what protocol is on these things!
According to the guided communication method, the next step is sending each other our "must haves/can't stands" - this is a list of 10 items per list that you have to have or would hate to have in a partner. It's hard to have just 10, there are closer to 50 to choose from in the list and they make you pare it down on purpose. To perhaps learn something about yourself in the process. It's a long list and I went at it by selecting all the ones I thought were "must haves" for me and then taking off ones that wouldn't make the top ten. I did the same with the "can't stands". No one can see them unless I send them. But they are pretty personal and I'm not sure that is what I next want Denver to see from me. And should I wait for him to send me his if that's the next step? Or will he send me a fast track communication request where we get to having real emails/phone calls? Or should I send him one? I only have a month! Wait, deep breath, it's Day 2. But he replied right away! But it was a Sunday...oh geez this is so very weird for me.
Oh wait, it looks like the "must haves/can't stands" can only come from me. I guess if he initiates the questions then I have to initiate the "must haves" because the next step is to read his if he sends his back. Hmmm so do I do it? Am I supposed to wait a day? Is there a waiting time like in real life dating where you wait three days to call someone? Isn't the fact that we've paid to be online for the purpose of meeting people mean that waiting times don't exist? But I don't really want to send him my must haves even though I keep re-reading them and it's a good list.
This is all so structured. After this apparently you ask each other more questions, followed by "read Dr. Warren's message" before you get to "open communication" where I think you get to email each other straight up which until now, you are unable to do unless you request a fast track. WTF? Is Dr. Warren's message just standard don't do anything stupid advice like invite the guy to your home or to a private place where he might chop you up and kill you? Or are you telling me the elves behind the site are monitoring our communication and will offer advice before we talk? I have trouble thinking that's what it is, but if its' a standard message, why do we have to wait for 4 rounds of questions and some must haves before we get to read it?
I know this is a system for a reason, they believe it works. I should just go with it and stop analyzing - right, not that easy for me! That being said, they matched me with a minister from Peterborough...I'm just saying...
I haven't heard back from the other guy I answered his questions and sent him mine, let's call him *Kansas. That's okay by me, I'm just keeping you in the loop :-) Didn't hear back from icebreaker boy yet either - let's call him *Chicago.
What else? Oh! I forgot yesterday, you can request a picture from matches. I've done this 2 or 3 times now. I liked their profile and I'm only going to know if I want to further communicate if I can see a picture. I'm not on here to make nice friends, I love my friends and can meet new ones in the real world, I'm looking for something else on here and we've already committed to trying this online thing and be judged by our words and profile so we have to put our pictures out there too. So I'm requesting it. One guy asked me to answer some questions but didn't put up a picture so let's make a deal - you post a picture and then maybe I'll answer your questions...
F*&! it, I'm sending Denver my must haves/can't stands. Or am I...aargh...
Oh and so much for my wait and see, I'm going to initiate conversation with this cute teacher from yesterday. Let's call him *Philly.
Day 2 tally:
New matches worth discussing: 0
Questions sent that were answered: 1
Questions sent & waiting to be answered: 2
Pictures requested: 2
Must haves/Can't stands sent: .........?? !!!!
I woke up nice and late on Sunday to my blinking blackberry...the cute guy who's questioned I answered and then asked my own has responded to my questions! I think it's time to name this guy and so let's pick places so as not to give anything away...so *Denver answered my questions. And no, I didn't get right up, turn on my computer and read them. No, I did what I had to do during the day, ran my errands, had some lunch...and then checked.
Aside...I was out running errands and imagined seeing these guys I've been "matched" with on eharmony and I swear I saw one of them in an aisle at Shoppers. Was it him? Maybe, maybe not, who knows? This big city can be awfully small. Just thought it was funny that I'm thinking that when I'm only on Day 2! Ha!
So back to *Denver! I like his answers! I'm definitely interested. Now what? His profile says he prefers fast track communication to guided but he started with guided so now what? I so don't know what protocol is on these things!
According to the guided communication method, the next step is sending each other our "must haves/can't stands" - this is a list of 10 items per list that you have to have or would hate to have in a partner. It's hard to have just 10, there are closer to 50 to choose from in the list and they make you pare it down on purpose. To perhaps learn something about yourself in the process. It's a long list and I went at it by selecting all the ones I thought were "must haves" for me and then taking off ones that wouldn't make the top ten. I did the same with the "can't stands". No one can see them unless I send them. But they are pretty personal and I'm not sure that is what I next want Denver to see from me. And should I wait for him to send me his if that's the next step? Or will he send me a fast track communication request where we get to having real emails/phone calls? Or should I send him one? I only have a month! Wait, deep breath, it's Day 2. But he replied right away! But it was a Sunday...oh geez this is so very weird for me.
Oh wait, it looks like the "must haves/can't stands" can only come from me. I guess if he initiates the questions then I have to initiate the "must haves" because the next step is to read his if he sends his back. Hmmm so do I do it? Am I supposed to wait a day? Is there a waiting time like in real life dating where you wait three days to call someone? Isn't the fact that we've paid to be online for the purpose of meeting people mean that waiting times don't exist? But I don't really want to send him my must haves even though I keep re-reading them and it's a good list.
This is all so structured. After this apparently you ask each other more questions, followed by "read Dr. Warren's message" before you get to "open communication" where I think you get to email each other straight up which until now, you are unable to do unless you request a fast track. WTF? Is Dr. Warren's message just standard don't do anything stupid advice like invite the guy to your home or to a private place where he might chop you up and kill you? Or are you telling me the elves behind the site are monitoring our communication and will offer advice before we talk? I have trouble thinking that's what it is, but if its' a standard message, why do we have to wait for 4 rounds of questions and some must haves before we get to read it?
I know this is a system for a reason, they believe it works. I should just go with it and stop analyzing - right, not that easy for me! That being said, they matched me with a minister from Peterborough...I'm just saying...
I haven't heard back from the other guy I answered his questions and sent him mine, let's call him *Kansas. That's okay by me, I'm just keeping you in the loop :-) Didn't hear back from icebreaker boy yet either - let's call him *Chicago.
What else? Oh! I forgot yesterday, you can request a picture from matches. I've done this 2 or 3 times now. I liked their profile and I'm only going to know if I want to further communicate if I can see a picture. I'm not on here to make nice friends, I love my friends and can meet new ones in the real world, I'm looking for something else on here and we've already committed to trying this online thing and be judged by our words and profile so we have to put our pictures out there too. So I'm requesting it. One guy asked me to answer some questions but didn't put up a picture so let's make a deal - you post a picture and then maybe I'll answer your questions...
F*&! it, I'm sending Denver my must haves/can't stands. Or am I...aargh...
Oh and so much for my wait and see, I'm going to initiate conversation with this cute teacher from yesterday. Let's call him *Philly.
Day 2 tally:
New matches worth discussing: 0
Questions sent that were answered: 1
Questions sent & waiting to be answered: 2
Pictures requested: 2
Must haves/Can't stands sent: .........?? !!!!
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